Day 6 of Fast
As for me, I will call upon God. And the Lord shall save me. Evening, morning, and at noon I will pray and cry aloud, and he shall hear my voice. He has redeemed my soul in peace from the battle that was against me. For there were many against me God will hear, and afflict them, Even He who abides from of old. Psalm 55:16
When things get hard, confusing, and hurtful, when God seems so far away, what do you do? Well, if you are like me you would try to explore many options of self-medication, self-help, self-examination, and even self-sabotage. I relied heavily on self as I felt like a strong person that could get by on her own. On Mother’s Day, 2009 I let myself fall into the loving arms of Jesus. I let all myself go. My identity, my family, my friends, everything was His. I believed in God before I accepted Him as my savior. However, I really grappled with trusting someone who is altogether unfailing. Unfailing! Think about that. In a world filled with expectations, deadlines, and temptations, Jesus never failed, not once. I had failed myself and felt as though I had failed Him so many times. How could someone so perfect want someone so broken, so torn from battle, so against her true self? This was a process that was directly impacted through prayer.
Everything changed as I learned to pray. Prayer is an ongoing conversation with God. Prayer has been the vessel in which God has used to penetrate my soul and reach me, my true self, created in His image, whole, and greatly loved. He pulls me close to Him in times of prayer. He poured His love out on me when I was ready to let Him. He relentlessly pursued my heart, patiently, kindly, and ever so gently. I constantly asked God to give me peace. Through prayer God has taught me that He truly is unfailing, and completely trustworthy. His characteristics shining through me to others. A direct result of a healthy prayer life is change. Less like us and more like Him.
Fasting is a humbling yourself before God, laying aside your desires and habits, only meeting basic needs to allow room for God to fill the void. This revolutionized my faith. Filling voids is what I thought I was best at. Turns out a void filled by self is quickly depleted and always returns shallow and empty. Now that I had a strong relationship with Jesus through prayer and identity in Christ, I was able to set aside self even more and allow God to come in. When you make room, push aside the extra, the unnecessary, the distractions you can see his vision and purpose so clearly. I have done a few fasts including the Daniel fast and fasting unhealthy habits like facebook or all media. Each time I can see more clearly the vision God has for me. I can more acutely feel His presence surrounding me and guiding me. Fasting can seem difficult at first, and it can be. Set your gaze upon Jesus, sink into those loving arms, and truly rest in the peace you have asked for.
In reading my experience with prayer and fasting I encourage you to set aside time to talk to God. He is truly unfailing and stands ready to embrace your brokenness and eagerly anticipates filling every place you cannot. An everlasting embrace to redeem your soul in peace.
Written by Sarah Calvert